“Behold, I stand at the door and knock…” Revelation 3:20
When my husband and I invite guests into our home, we do our best to have the place cleaned up. However, I will admit, there have been times when I have hid a mess by closing a drawer or shutting a door. I hide it because I would be embarrassed for anyone to see my imperfections or something left undone. Similarly, there have been parts of my life that were broken or messy, things I was ashamed of, so I tucked them away – I didn’t want to think about them, talk about them, or feel anything about them. I ignored them, hid them, and did my best to forget about them. It was as if I had locked certain doors to my life, not only from others, not only from God, but even from myself.
However, God loved me. He knew beyond the locked doors I needed restoration, so He knocked on those doors and asked me to open them. God can’t heal what we don’t open up for Him to touch. It took some time, but slowly I opened up my heart for God to heal what I had hidden. It was painful to go there, but because I trusted God’s love for me, I let Him in. There were a lot of fears and a lot of tears, but I let God in. There was a sense of release when I finally gave God access. God embraced me – all of me, even the messy parts; and I felt a complete love. It was partial or fragmented. God had it all. I gave God the key to my heart, He unlocked every door, and I finally knew the fulfillment of being completely loved. Not only did God have all of me, but I also was experiencing the glorious feeling of having all of God. I felt known, known by God; and He was letting me know Him in a deeper, more intimate way.
When I gave God the key to my heart, I gave Him permission to go where He wanted to go. I relented of my control and gave Him access to all of me. It was because of fear that I didn’t want to let go of that key. I was afraid of the rejection and pain that could result from what God saw. I wasn’t perfect. I was damaged. Why would God want me? How could I ever be of any good to God? There was also a fear that God would try to use me for His own benefit. However, God’s love for us is pure. He would never cunningly use us to indulge Himself, manipulate us with an ulterior motive, or stealthily work to advance a selfish purpose. We can trust God and let Him into our hearts.
Application: If someone ever capitalized on you or took advantage of your vulnerability, you may need God to reveal His love to you anew, assuring you that your performance has nothing to do with His unending, unconditional love. Let God heal the damage done from misuse, rejection, abandonment, or replacement. Trust that His love is true, and let Him heal the secret places.